


Stan Marsh and the Tri-Wizard Tournament

by MissThang17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, South Park
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Magic, Oblivious, Pining, Yule Balls Aren't Fun For Everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissThang17/pseuds/MissThang17
Summary: Stan is all geared up for his Fourth year at Hogwarts, until the Tri-Wizard Tournament starts. That's when shit hits the fan.





	1. Return to Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I recently re-watched Goblet of Fire and thought about how cute it would be to have the South Park kids involved. All of the Hogwarts students have been replaced with South Park characters, the Hogwarts faculty and other school's characters remain the same. Mad-Eye Moody is present, but the real one. Barty Crouch Jr, Sr, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are notably absent from this story, as I felt they weren't necessary. Anyways, enjoy!

**Ireland Claims Quidditch World Cup!**

Stan Marsh glanced at the title of the Daily Prophet, but paid the rest of the article no mind, as he had witnessed the game first hand. It was an incredible game, to be certain; Ireland's strong Chasers and ruthless Beaters won them the game, but their Seeker was no match for that of the Bulgarian team's Viktor Krum. He had snatched the Snitch as soon as it was apparent that his team would lose, securing at least his reputation for the game. 

Stan's eyes flitted up to his best friend Kenny McCormick, who was busy munching happily on several licorice wands at once. Kenny was enraptured with Krum, to the point that were it not for the blonde's particular taste for large breasted women and small, effeminate men, Stan would assume a crush. Kenny was the tallest of their friend group, so much so that Kyle once teased relation to a half giant. The blonde was roguishly handsome, and had more than one student at Hogwarts panting after him. The raven's eyes dragged lazily to his other best friend, Kyle, who had his nose, predictably, buried in a large and more than likely incredibly complicated spell book. 

Kyle Broflovski had earned himself the title of Brightest Wizard of the Age by more than a few of their professors and even the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. He had proven the title worth its salt when he managed to pass every year of schooling top of the class. Where as Kenny was tall and strong, tanned and fair haired, Kyle was the opposite. A small boy, Kyle barely surpassed five feet by a mere few inches, though no one was truly to know his height, for the boy became flustered and angry should anyone bring it up. He was thin and pale, often looking sickly in the winter months. His curly red hair,a soft rosy color, paired with his sea green eyes in such a way it earned him a much larger fan base at school than the boy's withered self esteem would allow him to see.

Stan himself was quite handsome. Though nowhere near as tall as Kenny, Stan's height commanded a lot of respect for him, as well as his muscular frame due to years of Quidditch practice. His black hair and deep blue eyes attracted quite a bit of attention and, were it not for the three's talent for trouble, they would have found themselves quite popular. As it was, the trio could hardly go four months without stirring up some kind of trouble, and always managed to get out of it by the skin of their teeth(and more than a few helpful spells from Kyle's vast repertoire).

As the Hogwarts Express neared it's destination, Stan double checked his things: Spell books, school robes, tie.... His owl Sparky, who behaved more like a dog than a bird, was sleeping soundly in his cage. Beside him lay Lemmiwinks, Kenny's pet rat. Next to them lay Stan's wand: 13 inches, ebony wood with a phoenix feather core. Old Ollivander had been ecstatic when Stan's wand had chosen him, claiming a wand with such an unusual core had to mean great things for the young wizard. 

Stan picked up his wand, giving it an experimental swish. The wand responded with a golden glow emanating from the tip, causing Kyle to pause from his readings, quirking an eyebrow at his friend. Stan merely grinned, causing the redhead to roll his eyes, though the small smile on his face betrayed the gesture. Kyle had asked Stan and Kenny multiple questions about the temperament of their wands, as fascinated with the subject as he was with all others, and only stopped when Kenny remarked that asking to see their dicks would be less invasive. 

Kenny's wand, 12 3/4 inches, made of holly with the hair of a unicorn, was best suited to Kenny's natural affinity for healing charms, Stan having seen the boy return from the brink of death many a time with a few simple spells. Stan's wand aided primarily with transfiguration, one of his favorite subjects. Being able to turn a person into a toad lent itself greatly to the Muggle stereotypes of witches and magic in general, which only made Stan enjoy the subject even more. Kyle's wand, 14 inches, made of elm wood and dragon heartstring, was the most dangerous of the three, for like its owner it possessed a power and temper that wasn't easily matched. Kyle's adeptness at all forms of magic(except perhaps those involving flying brooms and large magical creatures) made performing with his unusually strong and flexible wand appear almost elegant.

The train lurched to a stop, signalling its riders to begin their departure. The three friends made their way to the station, carrying their things with them. Kenny hefted Kyle's navy blue luggage over his shoulder, winking and grinning down smugly at his shorter friend. Kyle rolled his eyes once more, but patted his larger friend's shoulder as means of gratitude. They chatted animatedly as the enchanted boats brought them across the great Black Lake and to the magical castle they had come to know over the past four years. 

All was normal until the entrance of the Great Hall, where the three had to, unfortunately, separate.

"See you guys later," Kyle said with a sad smile tempered by time, before retreating to the Ravenclaw table.

The three had been friends since childhood, spending their formative years playing at one another's houses. Stan and Kyle, both from wizarding families, knew of their magical inheritance and their impending education at Hogwarts. Kenny had been the wild card, proving his magical talents despite a completely nonmagical family. The magic in his blood was so far back in his genealogy the McCormicks couldn't even remember there being witches or wizards in the family, and were shocked when the entirety of the world was shown to them. 

Though their friendship was great, it was no match for the sorting hat. Kyle was placed in Ravenclaw the second the hat brushed against his ruby curls, forever separating his schooling from his friends. Stan and Kenny were both sorted into Gryffindor, they're brave and foolhardy natures finding them a natural kinship with their house mates. On occasion the three shared a few classes, such as Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and they tried desperately to share the same elective courses, joining the Duelling Club together highlighted their second year. 

Stan and Kenny chose seats nearest their Gryffindor friends: Token Black, a tall but reserved boy who was known for his common room record at Exploding Snap, Bebe Stevens, a bright and bubbly blonde girl whose outer beauty served only to disguise her incredible Potions skills, and Clyde Donovan, a weepy brown haired boy who had yet to prove the bravery the sorting hat believed he possessed in great enough quantity to merit a place in Gryffindor house.

Looking to the Ravenclaw table, Stan noted with some disdain that Craig Tucker, one of his arch rivals, was seated comfortably close to Kyle, his bored expression hiding the interest in his eyes as Kyle chattered away about some topic or other. On Kyle's other side sat Jimmy Valmer, a handicapped boy whose talents at comedy and Charms easily made him the most likeable guy in Fourth Year. 

As the students ate and caught up after a season apart, Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat to capture their attention.

"As some of you may already know, Hogwarts has been chosen to host a legendary event: the Tri-Wizard Tournament!"

There were several cheers from various students, though many looked just as lost as Stan and Kenny were.

"Three schools will compete against one another to achieve eternal glory! Three schools, three champions, three tasks. Only one will be able to claim the ultimate prize, the Tri-Wizard Cup!"

With a flick of his wand, a beautiful chalice appeared in front of the elderly wizard, causing the students to once again erupt in cheers. 

"Please help me in welcoming our guests, the lovely ladies of the Beauxbatons academy of magic and their headmistress, Madame Maxime!"

As if on cue, a procession of beautiful women entered the Great Hall, doing a sweet simple dance as the did. Many of the boys were entranced by the performance, and even Stan and Kenny couldn't help but stare as an exceptionally pretty blonde girl entered with a woman so large she could only be half giant.

"Next, from Bulgaria, the proud sons of Durmstrang, and their headmaster, Igor Karkaroff!"

Another procession entered, this one composed entirely of stern faced, broad shouldered men, chanting and performing a dance of their own. The girls swooned and Kyle, who Stan was watching with great amusement, was pink faced as he watched the display. Igor Karkaroff entered with a tall, handsome boy whom Kenny quickly identified.

"Holy fuck dude, that's Viktor Krum!" the ecstatic blonde all but shouted. The Bulgarian Seeker kept his eyes fixed directly in front of him, ignoring the cheers and calls of his name. 

"I trust you will all give our guests the same comfort and warmth that you have come to know in your years here. I must warn all those who wish to enter, these tasks are not for the faint of heart. Due to the danger of the competition, only those of the age of seventeen will be allowed to cast their name into the Goblet of Fire." 

A large, ancient cup erected itself in the middle of the hall, a brilliant blue flame bursting from within it. Several students from each school stared intently at the flames, eyes gleaming. The rest of dinner passed without incident, and soon the students were retiring for the evening. The Durmstrang students were sent below to the dungeons with the Slytherins, while the Beauxbatons students were sent to the Hufflepuff dorms off of the kitchens. 

Stan and Kenny accompanied Kyle up to the seventh floor, pausing at the staircase that lead to the Ravenclaw tower. It had become a ritual of theirs since their first year, walking as far up together as they could before splitting off to their separate dorms. Stan and Kenny both leaned down to kiss Kyle on the cheek, an action that still caused the smaller redhead to blush furiously. He hugged them both all the same.

"Night guys, don't go wandering around without me," Kyle murmured, snuggling ever so slightly into each of them.

"Never," the Gryffindors replied, wishing their brainy friend one final goodnight before taking the staircase to their dorm, Kyle doing the same.


	2. The Goblet of Fire

The days leading up to the announcement of the Tri-Wizard Champions were relatively stress free. Students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons were allowed to select the courses they wished to attend, and thus were interspersed between classrooms. Kenny and Stan shared Divination with the Hufflepuffs, who brought along a few Beauxbatons girls to join in the lecture.

"Use your inner eye to see the future!" Professor Trelawney cried, her eyes glistening from behind her large spectacles.

"Oh gee, fellers, I don't know if I have an inner eye," Butters Stotch, a Hufflepuff in their year, muttered to them while his Divination partner, Tweek Tweak, let out a small cry. 

"Jesus, man, w-what if we see something awful! Do we stop it? Or would trying make it worse?! It's too much PrEsSuRe!!!"

Kenny rolled his eyes, ignoring the blond Hufflepuffs as they cleaned up the tea Tweek managed to spill all over their table. "It's no wonder they sent the chicks over to the virgin house, no worries about on campus pregnancies." Stan snickered as a few of the Beauxbatons girls within earshot sent murderous glares towards the two Gryffindors.

"I wonder how Kyle's doing," Stan whispered to Kenny as Trelawney ambled by, shaking and muttering about bad omens as she did. "I heard some of the Durmstrang kids joined Ravenclaw and Slytherin for Potions today."

Kenny snorted,"No doubt he'll be too busy hexing the dick off Cartman to even notice."

Stan nodded understandingly. Eric Cartman was infamous at Hogwarts for being the most volatile, manipulative wizard to be placed in Slytherin since Salazar himself founded the house. While not the most magically gifted student, Cartman's Parseltongue ability never ceased to awe and intimidate the other students, primarily the more dimwitted ones. Kyle always beat out Cartman's marks in classes, and had proven many a time to be the stronger wizard, which infuriated the portly Slytherin to no end.   
The class ended, as usual, with Trelawney predicting the death of a student, shaking them by their shoulders and describing vividly the way they were meant to die. Kyle had been present for one class with the nutty woman the previous year before demanding to be switched out of the class and put in Ancient Runes, a sixth year class. Stan and Kenny thought she was a riot.

The two found their redheaded friend in the Great Hall, rolling his eyes as Cartman postured for a group of Slytherins. 

"Alright everyone! The minor kinks from my last batch have been dealt with, and now I have the perfect solution to Dumbledore's faggy age line." Cartman pulled a small vial from his robes, containing a milky white substance.

"Is that more of the Creamy Goo potion you tried to sell to first years last year?" Stan asked with a confused look.

"It couldn't be his lunch, or the bottle would be as big as Hagrid," Kenny snickered.

Kyle rolled his eyes again. "It's an 'Aging Potion,' he cooked it up in the dungeons this morning. It's not going to work Fatass."

Cartman narrowed his eyes. "Shut up you asshole, it's totally going to work!"

Kyle sighed, shutting the book in his hands with a snap. "First of all, we don't have any Demiguise hair in the Potions room, so I doubt your potion could even be stable enough to support rapid aging. Second, you never measure anything, so even if it does work, you have no idea how much you'll age." The redhead hopped to his feet, moving closer to the chubby boy with his thin arms crossed. "Thirdly, Albus Dumbledore has magical knowledge that far exceeds even the greatest of normal wizards, he couldn't possibly be fooled by some r-tard with a half cooked aging potion."

Cartman sneered at the boy. "Just you watch, Ginger, just you watch." 

Cartman swallowed the contents of the bottle, shuddering slightly at the taste. Suddenly the boy began to shoot up, his height increasing as his bones, muscles and fat shifted around his body. His face matured, sprouting a thick, full five o clock shadow the boy couldn't hope to grow at his natural age. Finally the process stopped, leaving Cartman at what Stan would guess to be around seventeen or eighteen.

"Hah! It did work! Suck on that, Jew boy!" Cartman then walked across the age line, which moved to accommodate him. Shooting Kyle one more filthy grin, Eric threw his name into the goblet, smirking as the fire greedily consumed the parchment. 

His victory was short lived, however, when his name shot back out of the enchanted cup, and a burst of flames shot him across the age line and into the far wall. Cartman lay motionless for a moment, and when he sat up, he was middle aged.

"Oh Jesus," Stan muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?!" Cartman shrieked, his now deeper voice cracking at the pitch.

Kyle nodded as though he'd expected such an outcome all along. "I knew it, you substituted brown toadstools for the Demiguise hair to get the aging component, but didn't stabilize it with crushed Billywig husks. You're aging at an uncontrollably rapid pace." He walked over to the shrieking Slytherin, who was beginning to go grey around the temples. He patted the now man's shoulder solemnly. "Only thing to do now is watch you die."

"Jesus Kyle, what the fuck?" Craig muttered from his seat beside the other Ravenclaws. Kyle shot him a shit eating grin. "Relax, a trip to Madame Pomfrey for some Unicorn tears simmered over low heat with a dash of Cornish Pixie dust and he'll be back to his fat young self in no time." 

Several of the students, not for the first time since meeting the redhead, looked on him in awe. It always seemed Kyle Broflovski had an answer for everything. Among the throng of Durmstrang students stood Viktor Krum, who appraised the scene before him with an impassive face. He strutted over to the goblet, throwing his name in and promptly exiting the hall.

"Do you think he'd give me his autograph if I asked nicely?" Kenny mused aloud.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The night of the choosing of champions was an exciting event. The Goblet of Fire sat proudly in the center of the Great Hall, its blue flames casting a marvelous glow over the students. Kyle and his Ravenclaw friends had joined the Gryffindor table, the tiny redhead squished between his two best friends. 

"I wonder who its going to pick," he mused, taking small bites of his dinner. 

Kenny took a big swig of pumpkin juice, spilling some of its contents onto the table. "Probably some lame asses who can't even complete the tasks. Last week I saw Scott Tenorman put his name in."

Stan's ears perked up at that. "Scott Tenorman? The Slytherin who sold Cartman that cursed chili our first year?"

Kenny nodded. "The very same. Let's hope he and his pubic hair growth chili never make it into the competition."

The excited chattering in the hall quieted as Dumbledore took his place beside the giant goblet. "It is now time to meet our champions. Good luck to all of you."

The goblet's indigo flames turned a deep magenta, before spitting a slip of paper into the air. Dumbledore caught it, unfolding the parchment carefully. "The Durmstrang champion is, VIKTOR KRUM!"

The entire hall erupted with applause, none more so than the Durmstrangs, who beat their chests and roared for their companion. Viktor Krum stood and bowed, moving to the door leading the the Trohpy Room to wait for further instructions.

"No fucking surprise there, huh?" Kenny yelled out, whooping and hollering with the rest of the students. The room became silent once again as the goblet spat out another slip of paper.

"The champion from Beauxbatons is, FLEUR DELACOUR!"

The Beauxbatons girls kissed the pretty blonde on the cheek as she smiled proudly at the throng of students. She too took her place in the Trophy Room.

A final slip of paper shot out, Dumbledore's eyes twinkling as he opened it. "And finally, the champion for Hogwarts is-"

The man froze. His eyes wide and disbelieving. "Stan Marsh." 


	3. The First Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't much focus on the other champions, or the tasks in general, as this story is more relationship driven. So.....sorry?

"Oh Jesus, no," Kyle whispered, clutching Stan's forearm tightly. Stan, who was shocked into complete stillness, was forced out of his chair by Kenny's insitent pushing. He stiffly made his way to Dumbledore, who handed him his slip of paper with a grave look on his aged face. 

Stan just barely made it to the Trophy Room before up-heaving the contents of his stomach into an ornate gold cup, which reminded the boy uneasily of the goblet that just spat his name out moments ago.

He was a Tri-Wizard Champion. He was going to have to face deadly tasks pitted against two much older, much more experienced wizards in the hopes of winning a big blue cup. 

The door to the Trophy Room burst open behind him, and the three schoolmasters entered, along with several Hogwarts faculty. 

"What is the meaning of this, Dumbledore?" Karkaroff growled, his eyes trained on the young Gryffindor.

"Zis iz an outrage!" Madame Maxine cried, her large face crimson.

Dumbledore turned to Stan, his eyes kind and forgiving. "Stanley, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?"

Stan shook his head so hard he was certain it would snap his neck. "No, sir!"

"I understand your friend Cartman attempted to fool the goblet by way of an aging potion, did you attempt something similar?"

"Cartman isn't my friend, he's an idiot I share classes with. The only person in this whole school smart enough to fool an ancient and powerful magic cup is Kyle, and he'd never do anything that stupid, let alone help me do it."

Dumbledore gave him a soft smile, before his eyes turned serious. "There you have it. Stan did not place his name in the Goblet. However, there is no way to rectify this. The Goblet of Fire constitutes a binding magical contract. We must proceed according to plan."

Professor Severus Snape stepped forward, regarding the two other schoolmasters with a bored stare. "If I may, I've taught Marsh for many years now and can say with the utmost certainty that having him represent our school poses no advantage for us. The boy is a bit of a dimwit."  
 

"I'm right here dude," Stan muttered sullenly.

"Well zen, I guess ve have no choice but to allow zis....mistake," Maxine replied tersely. 

Maxine led Fleur out of the room, Karkaroff doing the same with Krum, both Champions shooting Stan looks of confusion and pity.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Stan entered the Gryffindor common room, he was unsurprised to see Kyle and Kenny waiting up for him. What was shocking was the massive party going on around them.

"Way to go, Stan!" Bebe praised, giving him a high five as she moved past him to the punch bowl that was undoubtedly spiked.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Everyone's throwing a huge rager for you dude," Kenny replied with a wide smile. "You beat the system, man!"

"But I didn't," Stan began to protest.

"Obviously Kenny and I know you didn't," Kyle interrupted, placing a hand on Stan's arm, "but everyone else thinks you did, and as such Gryffindor decided to celebrate. Stupid if you ask me, celebrating an obvious tampering with a serious magical tournament."

Kenny rolled his eyes, grabbing the small ginger about the waist and flinging him over his shoulder. "Enough lecturing, grandma, let's get some punch."

Stan watched with amusement as the blonde carted the shrieking Ravenclaw over to the punch bowl, before the realization kicked in. He was really going to have to compete. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next few days passed in a blur for Stan, with some of his classmates congratulating him on being the Hogwarts Champion, others berating him for cheating to get his position.

"You know all of this will blow over by the first task," Kenny said nonchalantly as the trio made their way to the Transfiguration classroom. "By then everyone will have come to terms with it and no one will care."

"I hope to Christ you're right," Stan said uneasily as a group of sneering Slytherins passed by. 

The three sat together, with Craig taking the last seat on the end of the bench, right next to Kyle. 

"Boy, you've really stepped in it this time, Marsh," Craig commented, his monotone voice conveying little to no interest.

"Gee, thanks for that brilliant observation, Craig," Stan sneered, the other boy's very presence putting him on edge. 

"Good morning, class," Professor McGonacall greeted as she entered the classroom. "Today we will be learning how to transfigure inanimate objects into small animals."

Stan immediately perked up. Transfiguration was his favorite subject, making McGonocall his favorite teacher. The witch pulled out her wand, pointing it at a stack of book.

" _Avifors_ ," she muttered and, with a sharp flick of her wrist, the books transformed into a a flock of colorful birds. Many of the students cheered and clapped, causing the teacher to smile proudly as she reverted the birds back into books.

"Mister McCormick, perhaps you would like to try next?" 

Kenny looked uncertain, but pulled out his wand and pointed it at his book none the less. " _Alivors_."

The book twisted and mangled itself until it was a shrieking, half winged monstrosity, made of paper and feathers. Kenny looked at the older witch sheepishly. "I'm not to good with shape shifting magic."

Kyle rolled his eyes, pulling out his wand and pointing it directly at the mutant animal. " _Reparifarge_."

With a streak of pink light, the bird/book creature was transfigured back into a harmless book.

"Very good work, Mister Broflovski. Ten points to Ravenclaw."

The rest of the class went by fairly smoothly, Stan and Craig being the most successful with their transfigurations. The topic of discussion as the friends departed their class turned to the other Champions.

"Fleur is smoking hot, but I bet you anything she's just as smart and scary as Wendy," Kenny offered, shuddering at the thought of the scary Fifth year Gryffindor girl. "And Krum is already a Quidditch superstar, being the Tri-Wizard Champion's gotta be easier than that."

Kyle scoffed at the blonde's remark. "He may be famous, but it's just for sports. He'll have to have mastered some seriously advanced magic to win this competition, which involves more than just blundering around the library all day."

Kenny grinned. "What's the matter, tall dark and handsome ruining your study time?"

Kyle snorted derisively. "More like his gaggle of giggling female admirers. All they do is follow him around giggling and swooning like a bunch of airheaded fairies."

As if on cue, Viktor Krum and the many girls who chased after him passed by, Krum giving the three a long look before walking away.

Kyle groaned, "See what I mean? How the hell am I supposed to study with that milling about?"

"Aww lighten up, Ky, you'll have to get used to it when Stan's groupies start lining up," Kenny teased.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BRINGING THAT NONSENSE AROUND DURING FINALS, MARSH!" Kyle all but shrieked as his two best friends howled with laughter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The day of the First Task had arrived, bringing with it an anxiety Stan had never experienced before. Thanks to a tip off from Hagrid, he knew his first task was to retrieve a golden egg from a dragon. He had a small time window to do so, and had to make sure the ordinary eggs bunched with the golden one suffered little to no damage. Kenny had taught him some fast acting healing spells, while Kyle all but dumped several possibly useful charms and hexes on him. 

"Alright Champions, it's time," Dumbledore greeted. Each champion plucked a miniature dragon from a black bag: Fleur pulling a Welsh Green, Viktor a Chinese Fireball. Stan pulled out a spiky, rather evil looking reptile from the bag: the Hungarian Horntail.

Fleur faced her dragon first, taking the longest but managing to retrieve her egg. Krum snatched his egg up the fastest, but lost points due to breaking some of the regular eggs. Finally, it was Stan's turn to face his dragon. 

The stands were dead silent as he crept out, warily searching for signs of the beast. He heard a tell tale growling behind him, and turned to face perhaps the most frightening thing he'd ever seen. The dragon was monstrous. From all of the readings Kyle had done, he'd concluded that the Horntail would be the fiercest, most malicious of the dragons to fight. The monsters jagged teeth and colossal spikes backed up the Ravenclaw's assertions, the beast letting out a fearsome cry. 

The Horntail lowered it's massive face to Stan, it's jaw unhinging as it prepared to breathe fire. Not for the first time, Stan was eternally grateful to Kyle and his compulsion to solve every problem, as he pointed his wand into the gaping maw of the beast and hollered, " _Glacius_!"

A biting, wintry blast erupted from the brunette's wand, the piercing cold clawing its way down the beast's gullet. The Horntail choked and flailed as it's body tried to fight the foreign temperature invading it's body. While the dragon writhed in pain, Stan summoned his egg, clutching it tightly as he raced to the exit, hearing the crowd roar in applause as he did.

He had done it. By the skin of his ass, Stan Marsh completed the First Task.


	4. The Yule Ball

The Yule Ball. Currently, the innocuous sounding event filled Stan with a dread and nervousness that made battling a dragon appear easy. As a Tri-Wizard Champion, it was required he find a date to dance with for the ceremonial first dance of the evening. Stan had no problem dancing with someone, the tough part was finding someone to dance with. Stan was shit at talking to people he liked, he usually ended up vomiting on or near them. 

Kenny wasn't doing much better. So far, every girl and boy he spoke to knew of his man whorish ways and wanted nothing to do with him. Everything had come to a head one day during study hall.

"This is fucking stupid," Kenny muttered. "How is it that every person we've asked has turned us down?"

Stan shrugged. "Don't know, dude."

Kenny's eyes darted to Bebe, who was deep in conversation with Wendy on the far side of the room. "Who's Bebe going with?"

"Clyde Donovan," Kyle replied, his eyes never straying from his book.

"Damn it. How about Tweek?"

"Going with Craig Tucker."

"How do you know this shit Kyle? Anyone else off the market?"

"I know because I listen when other people talk; that and I know everything. Jimmy's taking Heidi Turner, Butters is going with Cartman of all people, Token is taking Nicole and I believe Wendy is going with Gregory Yardale, the Hufflepuff Headboy."

Kenny blew out a dramatic sigh, scoping the rest of the hall for a potential date. Stan was about to join him when an idea came to him.

"Hey Kyle.....you're going to the Yule Ball, right?"

Kyle snorted, "No shit. It's not mandatory, but it'd be pretty sad if I didn't go."

"Might be even sadder if you showed up alone," Stan argued. "Poor sad Kyle, sitting alone at a table." 

Kyle's eyes finally left his book, the Ravenclaw showing small signs of annoyance and frustration. "Is there a point to you mocking me?"

Stan shrugged, trying his best to appear nonchalant. "Just saying, you could save yourself the trouble of working up the courage to ask someone and just go with me or Kenny."

"Or both," Kenny added. "I don't mind sharing."

It was at that moment the two Gryffindors realized their mistake. Kyle's expressive green eyes glimmered with rage, his hands shaking slightly, his hair even more wild than usual.

"Did you two assholes really just insinuate that I'm so pathetic that no one else would bother to ask me?" He asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

"Well, I mean...." Stan began to backtrack, a little afraid of the look in his friend's eyes.

"For your fucking information, someone's already asked me to go with them, and **NOT** as a goddamn last resort!"

Kyle gathered his things, heading for the exit. He froze, turning to his friends. "And I said yes." With that, he uttered a quick Jelly Leg Jinx and stormed out as the two

Gryffindors plummeted to the ground, their legs squished uselessly underneath them.

"Why do we ever get on his bad side?" Kenny complained, rifling in his bag for his book on counter curses.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It'd been a whole week since Kyle's blow up at the two, and the boys hadn't seen or heard from their friend since. 

"Bebe told me that Jimmy told her that Kyle's fine, but he hasn't really talked to anybody recently," Wendy informed the sullen looking Gryffindors. "He's spent almost all of his time either in the library or his dormitory." 

"Well, I guess that's what we get for being smug assholes," Kenny sighed, fixing his dress robes. Kenny and Stan both wore classic black robes, looking similar to Muggle tuxedos, very clean and sharp. 

"I hope he was telling the truth about having a date, and isn't really just sitting in Ravenclaw Tower crying his eyes out," Stan remarked as he tried to get his hair to look halfway decent. 

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Will both of you just get over it and go find your dates."

Surprisingly, both Stan and Kenny managed to find dates for the evening. Stan was taking Henrietta Biggle, a large Slytherin Sixth year who liked to smoke Muggle cigarettes and cursed like a sailor. Kenny was taking Henrietta's younger brother Bradley, a Fourth year Hufflepuff obsessed with magic berries. 

Kenny let out another long suffered sigh, "Let's get this over with then."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Great Hall was lavishly decorated for the holiday season. Tall ice sculptures stood proudly on each table, illusory snow falling from the enchanted ceiling. Kenny and Bradley entered the Hall, leaving Stan and Henrietta to wait for the Champion procession to start. Stan noted that while Fleur had a handsome date from Durmstrang, Viktor Krum stood alone.

_Guess being a star Quidditch player and Tri-Wizard Champion still isn't enough to get a good date_ , Stan mused.

Henrietta looked round with a bored expression, until a flash of blue caught her eye. "Jesus fuck, is that Broflovski?"

Stan whipped around to see where Henrietta was gawking, and his jaw promptly hit the floor.

Standing at the top of the stairs, in elegant, form fitting navy blue robes that looked very similar to a dress, Kyle Broflovski looked at the small gaggle of people staring at him, his cheeks going pink. His curly, unmanageable hair had been tamed into gorgeous finger waves that cascaded like rose petals to his shoulders and down his back. His freckles stood out against his ivory skin, which contrasted perfectly with the deep blue of his robes. 

He made his way down to the landing, where Viktor Krum had moved to greet his date, an awed smile on his face. He bowed and kissed the redhead's hand, wrapping an arm securely around his waist and guiding him to their place in line.

Kyle shot Stan a quick look, muttering a 'Hello' as he passed him.

Soon the three champions and their dates were entering the Great Hall, several people shooting Kyle incredulous looks. Stan spared a glance to Kenny, who was looking at Kyle like there wasn't a single other person in the room. 

Once the six reached the clearing made just for them, the music began to play, and the champions began to waltz. Stan wasn't much of a dancer to begin with, and the fact that his eyes invariably ended up on Kyle and Krum every few seconds made it even more difficult.

Things had certainly not turned out as expected.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The dance raged on for hours, several people already abandoning the party to retire to their dorms or to a secluded spot with their dates. From a table in the corner of the room, Stan and Kenny sat alone, their dates already gone for the evening.

"No offense, Marsh," Henrietta had stated, "but you're kind of boring as fuck and a pretty shitty dancer."

Kenny hadn't fared much better with Bradley, who didn't seem as interested in dancing as he did talking about the mint berries he'd been growing in the Greenhouse. 

The two watched sourly as Viktor Krum twirled and spun and lifted Kyle all around the dancefloor, the two never breaking physical contact.

"What a douche," Stan spat bitterly, narrowing his eyes at the Durmstrang Seeker. 

"His dumb ass couldn't keep a few fucking eggs from cracking but suddenly he's good enough for Kyle?" Kenny mused, taking a long swig from his glass of punch.

Kyle and Krum eventually separated, Krum whispering something into Kyle's ear to make him giggle. Krum kissed his hand once more before turning to the punch table, Kyle quickly scurrying over to where his best friends sat.

"Hey guys," he said shyly, biting his bottom lip to keep his smile from breaking out across his face. He perched himself gracefully next to the grouchy Gryffindors, his eyes trained on Krum.

"So I guess we know why Dumb Krum spent all his time in the library," Stan said venomously.

Either Kyle chose to ignore Stan's vicious comment or wasn't paying him enough mind, for the breathy tone he used to speak made his friends even angrier. 

"It's a little silly, really," the Ravenclaw giggled. "He said he came in every day to work up the nerve to talk to me, but he was scared. He finally plucked up the courage, planted himself right next to me and asked me to go to the Ball with him."

Kenny and Stan scowled at one another, trying not to gag at Kyle's sappy story. "That's all nice and fucking dandy, Ky, but do you really think it's a good idea to fraternize with the enemy?"

Kyle turned to stare at Kenny as though he'd grown a second head. "The enemy? Aren't you the one who wants his autograph? The whole point of this stupid tournament is to make friends."

"Pretty sure he's not looking for friendship, dude," Stan muttered darkly.

"You two are unbelievable," Kyle griped. "You taunt me because you think I'm going to be stuck at the dance all alone, and when you find out I'm not going alone you bitch about the person taking me!"

"He's three years older than you, Kyle, he might just want to fuck you," Stan ground out.

Kyle's eyes narrowed dangerously. "And what if he did want to have sex with me, hmm? What's so bad about that?"

Kenny snorted, "Your first time with a foreigner? You need to stop reading Witch Weekly."

"Who says it's my first time? Who says I'm a virgin?"

Kenny's eyes snapped to the redhead, his expression murderous. "You fucking better be, Broflovski."

Going into the Yule Ball, Stan and Kenny had promised they would never again make Kyle as angry as they had that day in study hall. In the span of a ten minute conversation, they managed to break that promise. Though Kyle still looked as beautiful and composed as he had when he first entered, his eyes were so expressive they told a story all their own in mere seconds.

"How fucking dare you," he whispered. Normally, Kyle's quiet angry tone was enough to make even Hargid's giant three headed dog bow in submission, but Kenny and Stan weren't backing down. 

"Go on then, go have a great fucking evening with Dumb Krum," Stan spat. "And try not to turn into a 'giggling, airheaded fairy.'"

The hurt was painted so clearly on Kyle's face it could've been displayed as art. The look quickly disappeared, though his eyes held the emotion steadily. He said nothing further, but got up and joined Krum at the punch table. Krum said something to the boy and Kyle, with a nasty, dertimined glare aimed at his friends, pulled the larger boy in for a searing kiss, which the son of Durmstrang immediately reciprocated.

Stan and Kenny stared at the scene, unable to comprehend what they were seeing.

Across the room, Butters noted the entire exchange between the three while Cartman stuffed his face with food, ignoring his date. If anyone were to ask the Hufflepuff, he could tell them the exact moment when Kenny and Stan's hearts broke. 


	5. The Second Task

"C'mon, dude, it's gotta mean something."

Stan groaned as Kenny poked and prodded the golden egg with his wand. So far, whenever the damn thing was opened, it emitted a high pitched shrieking that could rival Tweek's anxious screams. The two tried every spell and means of deciphering they could think of, but garnered no results.

"This is hopeless," Stan muttered. "The Second Task is two days away and I have no idea what this means."

"Have you tried submerging it in water?" A familiar voice called out.

The Gryffindors whipped their heads around to see Kyle, hair still sleek the from the Ball the week before, standing uncomfortably in the Gryffindor common room. The redhead looked as though he hadn't really wanted to come, but had forced himself to regardless.

"Kyle, what are you doing here?" Stan asked carefully, trying not to let his excitement get the better of him. He hadn't seen any sign of the Ravenclaw since the dance, and had only spoken with him briefly due to his and Kenny's surly, jealous attitudes. 

"I figured you were still having trouble with the egg, and with the Second Task almost here, well...." Kyle bit his lip, not really meeting ayone's eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you were well prepared."

"Did you help Viktor with his egg?" Kenny asked, desperately trying to keep the bitterness from his voice.

Kyle nodded. "As soon as I figured out how to get the clue, I told him. Now I'm telling you. Just, just submerge the egg in water and listen to it again."

Kyle promptly turned heel and exited the common room, leaving the other two boys to stare after him.

"Well, he may be pissed at us, but he doesn't want you to die at least," Kenny offered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The day of the Second Task was just as nerve wracking as the first. Thanks to Kyle's advice, Stan and Kenny were able to decipher the egg's clue, and came up with a strategy to win.

Stan had an hour to swim through the black lake and find the merpeople who lived there, and retrieve whatever it was they kept. At first, the boys had no clue how to make Stan breathe underwater. Then, thanks to an old magical flora book Wendy had, they managed to raid Professor Snape's potion supplies to recover Gillyweed, a rare plant that allowed the ingester to breathe underwater for an hour.

Stan wasn't surprised that Kyle hadn't walked with him out to the lake, but he was surprised that Kenny was gone before Stan had even woken up. He shook his head, he needed to get ready.

Stan swallowed the Gillyweed whole, trying not to gag at the salty, slimy taste. When the starter's pistol rang out, Stan leaped into the water, waiting a few second for his gills to sprout.

After forty minutes of swimming aimlessly about, Stan heard a familiar singing to his right. He propelled himself forward to see a small clearing where a few merpeople were stationed, wicked looking tridents in their scaly grasps.

As Stan neared, he spotted three limp bodies tied to jagged rocks, and his heart plummeted. Kyle and Kenny were floating lifelessly in the clearing, their skin pale, their eyes closed and unresponsive. There was a little blonde girl floating next to them, whom Stan surmised was in relation to Fleur. Stan turned to his best friends, his heart torn.

Kenny was one of Stan's closest friends, they'd been through quite a lot together, and had become even closer after they were both sorted into Gryffindor. Kenny had once told him he would gladly lay down his life for the brunette, Stan tearfully making the same promise.

Stan turned to Kyle. The little redhead had been his friend when no one else would, and refused to abandon his friends even after he was sorted into a different house. Despite his temper and know it all attitude, Kyle Broflovski had the biggest heart at Hogwarts, and loved his friends more than anything.   
Stan had no clue who to save. Kenny was his best friend, but Stan was almost certain, after reflecting on his behavior at the Ball, that he was in love with Kyle. Leaving either one of them at the bottom of the lake would break his heart, however he couldn't be sure which loss would leave the bigger scar.

Stan's guilt ridden decision was cut short, however, when a giant shark head sped into the clearing, a stocky, muscular body attached to it.

_Krum_ , Stan thought, watching as the boy freed Kyle and pulled him off to the surface. Stan whipped out his wand, pointing it at Kenny's bindings and muttering _Diffindo_ as best he could underwater. He had looped an arm around Kenny when Fleur, head encased in a magical bubble, swam elegantly through and grabbed her sister, reaching the surface moments later.

_Shit_ , Stan thought. _I'm in last place_.

Stan shot up to the surface, coughing as Kenny awoke from his enchanted slumber, flailing as he attempted to get his bearings.

"Dumbledore fucking stunned me, dude!" Kenny griped. "He called me into his office, stunned me, and dropped me into a lake! What the fuck kind of school is this?!?"

"Are you forgetting about the tree that beats people up or the evil, racist snake chamber hidden in the girl's bathroom?" Stan responded dryly.

The two heaved themselves onto the stands, where the rest of the contestants and hostages awaited them. A flash of red caught their eye, and before they knew it the Gryffindors had an armful of Kyle.

"I'm so glad you guys are okay," the Ravenclaw muttered against their still damp shoulders.

Stan and Kenny recovered from their shock quickly enough, and wrapped their arms around their friend, the reunion long overdue.

"We're sorry about the way we acted, Kyle," Stan started. "We were being-"

"Total ass munchers," Kenny finished, burrowing into the soft fluffy towel the redhead had draped around him.

Kyle chuckled, "I overreacted a little. You guys are my friends, it's normal that you'd rip on anyone I'd date. I just want everything to be okay between us." 

They assured the smaller boy it would be, who gave them one final hug and smile before returning to Krum. The Bulgarian snaked his arm around the redhead's waist, pulling him in for a slow, sweet kiss. Stan turned to Kenny, who was gazing on the scene with a heartbroken look the brunette was positive he mirrored.

"You too, huh?" Stan asked.

The blonde shot him a curious look, before nodding, turning his attention back on the two lovers in front of him.

"Yeah, me too."


	6. Chapter 6

With their friendship once again intact, the trio worked tirelessly to prepare for the Third Task. Dumbledore had told the contestants bluntly what to expect from the last task: an enchanted maze, at the center of which stood the Tri-Wizard Cup. The objective was simple; find the cup, win the tournament. Krum had taken the lead in the Second Task, with Fleur and Stan tied for last place. Krum was to enter the maze first with a ten minute head start, followed by Fleur and Stan simultaneously. 

"Lord only knows what's in that maze," Kyle muttered, cracking open yet another large spell tome. "How can you prepare for something if you don't know what to be preparing for?" 

"Maybe you should just torch the damn hedges," Kenny offered with a shrug, reclining on one of the Gryffindor Common room's many plush couches. 

Stan shook his head, "I'd be willing to bet they're enchanted so they can't be torched."

"The real challenge is going to be navigating around," Kyle said, almost more to himself than anyone else. "Maybe if you had a way to see a little ahead of yourself.....that's it!"

"Wait, what's it?" Kenny asked, sitting up.

Kyle bolted from the room, yelling about the library. 

Kenny shook his head. "That's one crazy ass nerd we're friends with."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An hour later, Stan and Kenny were finishing up a game of Wizard's Chess, Stan having beaten Kenny fiercely, when a white light caught their attention. A spectral fox, no larger than an average sized dog, came prowling into the common room. " _I knew it!_ " The creature cried out in a distorted but familiar voice. " _Guys, come to the library right now, I know how to get through the maze!_ " 

The fox vanished, leaving Stan and Kenny to race down to the library, both boys bewildered. Kyle was grinning from ear to ear when they found him. "I figured it out.

The biggest problem with the maze is navigating it. One wrong turn and you'll have to double back for miles. The key to getting through it is knowing which turns to take and which to avoid." Kyle pulled out his wand, closing his eyes and pointing it forward. " _Occulus Patronum._ "

Kyle's Patronus shot out of the wand, turning its head side to side and pacing down a corner. A few minute later it returned, vanishing like it had in the common room.

"I modified the Patronus Charm to allow the caster to see through the eyes of their Patronus as it moves about, sort of like astral projection. All you have to do is perfect your Patronus, Stan, and you'll get through the maze in half the time!"

Stan smiled down at the redhead fondly, feeling his stomach lurch uncomfortably as he did. "You're brilliant, Kyle. We'd seriously be lost without you."

Kyle blushed pleasantly at the compliment, "Thanks, Stan," he replied quietly. 

The moment was cut short by Madame Pince, who gave the three a stern lecture on maintaining the peace in the library. As the trio exited the library, they ran, almost quite literally, into Eric Cartman, who sneered as he passed them.

"Good luck with the Third Task, asshole. Let's hope Kyle's boyfriend doesn't whoop your ass." 

Stan was about to fire back when Kyle rolled his eyes. "Jesus Cartman, did all the aging you do six months ago not fix your attitude?"

"AY, FUCK OFF JEW!" Kyle snorted, pulling his two friends along by the hand, neither Gryffindor minding this at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Dude, we need to talk about Kyle."

Kenny groaned, rolling over and covering his head with his pillow. "Dude, we just spent all day working on your Patronus, do we have to have this conversation now?"

Stan shrugged, "Better we just get it over with."

Kenny sat up, adjusting to a more comfortable position on his bed. "Alright fine, I'll start.

I like Kyle, dude. Like, really like him. Remember when they had to kill that Hippogriff last year? Kyle buried his head in my shoulder and clung to me so he wouldn't have to see it. That's when I knew. That's when I decided that I would always be there for him."

Stan's eyes widened at the confession. "Whoa, that long, dude?"

Kenny nodded. "Yep. So, what's your story? When did you aboard the Unrequited Love Express?"

Stan flushed darkly, eyes fixed on his sheets. "After I saw him at the Yule Ball. He looked so....pretty. Don't ever tell him I said that, though, he'd kill me. But he did. And when I saw Krum get to dance with him, hold him, and when they kissed.....let's just say it was pretty obvious to me after the Ball."

Kenny gave him a sad smile. "We can't ever tell him, you know."

Stan glanced over to his friend, eyes questioning. "Why not, dude?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "How would you feel if two people you saw as brothers both told you they were in love with you? How would you cope? Plus, could you really handle the jealousy if we told him how we felt, and he chose me? I love ya Stan, but if Kyle chose you and not me, I don't think I could handle being your friend any longer."

Stan nodded. "I get it. You're my best friend, but losing Kyle to you might change that. That's to say, if he even wanted anything to do with either of us after confessing something like that."

Kenny chuckled bitterly. "We have to keep it a secret from him. If we don't wanna lose him, we gotta keep our shit together."

Stan nodded, though every fiber of him protested the very notion. 

"Agreed."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"That's it, Stan! You've got it!"

Stan's Patronus, fully formed, stared back at the three students, awaiting instructions.

"Now, I've placed a water goblet I enchanted to look like the Tri-Wizard Cup somewhere on the third floor," Kyle spoke. "Have your Patronus go look for it, and see how far you're able to extend it."

Stan closed his eyes and concentrated. Within seconds, he was seeing through his Patronus' eyes, and moved the creature forward. He inspected the classrooms he passed, noting that most of them looked locked and inaccessible. He rounded a corner into a hallway, where he noticed a door slightly ajar at the end of the spacious corridor.

He approached quickly, feeling the corners of his magical vision going fuzzy. He poked his head into the room, spotting the miniature Cup, before his vision swam and his head felt as though it were strapped to a Tilt-A-Whirl. 

The brunette snapped his eyes open, glancing at his friends. "It's in the old Charms classroom. Two hallways down, one turn left, two turns right. I managed to poke my head into the room before my vision cut out."

Kyle nodded vigorously, taking out a notebook and quill and jotting down notes. "This is incredible. We've actually found a new means of projection!"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "I think you mean you, smarty pants. Stan was just the guinea pig and I was just the pretty face. You came up with this all on your own."

"If you were the pretty face I'd say the standards for that job have dropped," Kyle teased. "You guys were just as much a part of this as me. We're a team, you know."

Kenny gave the boy a much too soft for friendship smile. "Yeah, we are."

Kyle turned to Stan. "I think you're ready. God, I hope you're ready."

Stan nodded grimly. "The task is tomorrow, I'd sure as shit better be." 


	7. The Third Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the ending feels rushed or anticlimactic, but I was running out of steam, creatively speaking. All the same, I hope you all enjoy!

"Welcome, students, welcome! Welcome to the Third Task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament!"

The students cheered high in the stands as Dumbledore stood before him, his smile serene and his eyes twinkling. His wand held to his throat, the aging headmaster's voice boomed throughout the field. "Our Champions are about to enter the maze; the first to reach the Tri-Wizard Cup will win the tournament! With the highest accumulated score from the first two Tasks, Viktor Krum will enter the maze first. Our other Champions, Fleur Delacour and Stan Marsh will enter at the same time. Let the Third Task begin!"

Viktor Krum entered the maze, the enchanted hedges making a small gap for him before closing behind him. Up in the stands, Kyle watched his boyfriend enter the maze with ill concealed worry.

"He wouldn't tell me what his plan to get through the maze was," he informed Kenny, who had the redhead curled up into his side. "Every time I'd ask about it, he'd just just give me a kiss and tell me not to worry about it."

Kenny suppressed a grimace, instead curling him arm tighter around his friend's waist. "I'm sure he'll be fine. And with how much training he did, Stan is sure to win."

Kyle nodded, taking a sip of the Butterbeer Kenny had snuck in with them. "I just hope everyone makes it out okay."

The two turned their attention to their black haired friend, who had just pushed through the shrubbery and into the maze.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was dark in the maze. Stan couldn't see much farther than a few inches in front of his nose. Taking a deep breath, he raised his wand, pointing it down the clearing. " _Occulus Patronum_!"

A large, spectral elephant shot from Stan's wand, it's luminous body brightening the dark path. Closing his eyes, Stan willed the beast forward, watching through its eyes as it navigated through the maze. He made it through a good chunk of the maze before the Patronus disappeared, and Stan followed the wispy path it left behind.

He continued through the maze in this fashion, stopping only when he found Fleur being attacked by one of Hagrid's Blast Ended Skrewts. He stunned the beast before it managed to kill the now unconscious girl. Stan checked to make sure she was still breathing before taking her wand and sending red sparks into the air, signalling that the girl needed to be saved.

He raced through the maze, using his Patronus spell to guide him past many dangers. He arrived at a small clearing, hoping to find a clue to his destination. He was greeted by a Sphinx, an unnaturally large lion with the head of a human. The human face was female, and would've been pretty if not for the carnivorous feline body to which it was attached.

"I have a riddle for you," the creature purred. "You may choose not to answer, and I will allow you to leave the way you came. Answer correctly, and the treasure is yours. Answer incorrectly, and I will attack. Now;

A slender body,

A tiny eye.

No matter what happens,

I never cry.

What am I?"

Stan was fucked. He knew it. He had no idea what the answer could be. He wracked his brain for what seemed like hours, the wise creature sitting patiently, its tail curled around its body.

"Uhmm, hmm, okay....." Stan was stalling, trying to think of a way around the riddle. Then a thought occurred to him.  
"A goblin! They're small, have little eyes, and they're so stern I don't think they ever cry! That's it, isn't it?"

The sphinx shook its head sadly, "I'm afraid not."

The beast roared, launching itself at the boy who just barely managed to dodge the attack. He pulled out his wand and sent spell after spell flying at the creature, to no effect.

The mighty animal swing a monstrous paw at him, scratching his face deeply enough to draw blood, similar cuts finding their way to his arm and legs as the beast continued to attack.

Stan realized there was no way for him to beat the creature. As he began to grow woozy from the blood loss, he shot a final spell into the air, red sparks rocketing into the night sky. The sphinx held off its attack, waiting calmly as Professor McGonagall raced in, wand at the ready. She grabbed the boy and Apparated out, the two appearing in the medical tent Madam Pomfrey had set up.

"Another one, I'm afraid," McGonagall muttered to the mediwitch, easing Stan onto one of the levitating cots."

The stern woman tutted, giving him a pain reliever potion while muttering about suicidal contests. Stan slumped over in his cot, shame washing over him. _I failed. Krum's going to win now, and Kyle will love him forever._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An hour later, cheers could be heard from the stands. Viktor Krum had solved the riddle and won the Tri-Wizard Cup. Stan and Fleur were able to join the others once the competition had ended, Fleur rushing towards her friends and family, who had traveled to the school to watch her final Task. Stan smiled sheepishly at his parents, who pulled him into a fierce hug as soon as he was close enough.

"Oh, Stanley, we were so worried about you!" Sharon Marsh cried, squeezing her son too tight for comfort.

"You certainly startled us with all of this Tri-Wizard nonsense," Randy Marsh commented. "And of course your sister was beside herself with worry."

"Shelley's a squib, Dad. I doubt she cares about what goes on here." Stan retorted, but was ultimately ignored. "Where's Kyle?"

"Don't look, dude," Kenny muttered beside him.

Stan did not follow his friend's advice, and gazed over to where Viktor Krum, who was holding the Tri-Wizard Cup with a triumphant grin, had Kyle wrapped up in his side with one large arm. Kyle was beaming at the Champion and, with Krum and Kyle's parents watching with proud smiles, the two shared a kiss in front of the entire stadium. The crowd roared and applauded, a few journalists from the Daily Prophet snapping photographs and attempting to get close enough for an interview.

Stan looked away, willing the tears welling up in his eyes to go away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few weeks passed, and shame of Stan's loss eased with each passing day. The pitying looks stopped after about a ninth day, when Kenny loudly commented on how anyone else in Stan's position would have died before the end of the First Task. Kyle was sympathetic, but often times absent from his friends, as studying for final exams and Viktor Krum occupied nearly all of his time.

"I told Professor Moody about how we modified the Patronus Charm for the Third Task," Kyle explained to them as they headed to the crazed ex-Auror's classroom. "He was so impressed he gave all three of us extra credit for the exam! Now we're sure to pass!"

Kenny rolled his eyes fondly. "As if anyone would doubt you passing a test, Broflovski."

Stan turned to his friend, a question burning in his mind. "Hey Kyle, what has a slender body, a tiny eye but doesn't cry?"

Kyle thought for a moment, chewing slightly on his lower lip. "A needle; the eye being the part of the needle that the thread goes through. It's called an eye, but it doesn't cry. Am I right?"

"Probably," Stan replied sullenly, wising he had thought of that in the maze.

The three reached the classroom, only to find it empty.

"What's going on? Don't we have Professor Moody's exam today?" The redhead inquired.

"I'm afraid not, Kahl," a whiny voice sneered from behind them.

Eric Cartman locked the door to the classroom, enchanting it to keep it from being opened. "I told Moody there was a Blast Ended Skrewt loose on the second floor, because I set one loose on the second floor. The exam has been postponed."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "So you've locked in here with you to gloat?"

Cartman chuckled darkly. "No, I locked you in here to kill you."

With a flick of his wand, he summoned the wands of the trio, stashing them in his robes. The Slytherin sneered. "Stan was supposed to die in that stupid fucking tournament, now I have to do this the old fashioned way."

"What the fuck are you going on about, Fatass," Kenny asked coolly.

"I put Marsh's stupid name in that faggy cup! Me! I wanted him dead and buried, and having him die in a competition he was grossly under qualified for was the best way to do it."

"But how? We all know you couldn't get past Dumbledore's Age Line, remember?" Kyle sneered.

Cartman grinned. "Right you are, Jew. I couldn't get passed it, but Scott Tenorman could. He turned seventeen just before summer ended. He didn't want to do it, of course, but with a little help from the Imperious Curse, he was mine to do with as I pleased."

Stan's face paled as he pieces began to fall together. Scott entering into a tournament he had no interest in, Cartman's dogged attempts to throw a name in, just not his own. Kyle was beginning to look nervous and Kenny was silently observing the room for an escape.

"It had to be Stan, you see, for he was the likeliest of you three assholes to die. Kyle was smart enough to get through the whole competition, perhaps even win it, and Kenny won't fucking die, despite the many times when he should have. You, Stan, are the only one who is totally fucking useless."

Cartman pointed his wand at the Gryffindor, his features twisted into a cruel grin. "Well, no time like the present. Bye Stan, you pussy. _Avada_ -"

" _Expelliarmus_!"

The fat Slytherin screeched in outrage as his wand flew from his hand and was snatched up by Allistair Moody, who had entered the room by way of one of Hogwarts' many secret passages.

"Shoulda known it was you, kid," the man said gruffly. "Yeh've been a pain in my ass all year."

Kyle had seemed to recover from his shock, as he launched himself at the other boy, beating him senseless.

Moody looked on with amusement as the tiny redhead continued his assault on the now bleeding and squealing Parselmouth, nudging Kenny and Stan both. "How long do ye recon we should let the little devil kick that boy's ass?"

Kenny shrugged, "Till the end of term?"

Moody barked with laughter. "Not a bad idea, but that little shit has a date with Azkaban, and I'd prefer it if he showed up alive."

Despite Moody being a full grown, over six foot man, it took quite a bit of his strength to remove the apoplectic Ravenclaw from his victim. "Yeh'd make a half decent Veela, kid. Just as pretty, just as vicious."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Life continued on without Eric Cartman around. Though he managed to avoid being sent to Azkaban, he was put on probation, his wand taken from him and replaced with a heavily charmed one that only allowed for spells based on the school curriculum to be cast. He was confined to the dungeons, where he either slept, ate, or cleaned for Professor Snape. Stan would have like the multiple attempts on his life to be taken more seriously, but he supposed nothing was ever taken that seriously in regards to Cartman.

Kyle continued to date Viktor Krum, until the Bulgarian Seeker, emboldened by his Championship, proposed to the young Ravenclaw.

"Viktor, dude, I like you and all, but I'm only fourteen. I'm not ready for marriage."

The rejection weighed heavily on Viktor, and the two ended their relationship only days later.

"It's not like things would've gone much further," Kyle admitted to his friends one lazy day in the Gryffindor dormitory, his head resting in Stan's lap. "He was a nice guy, but a bit stupid."

Kenny nodded, joining Stan and Kyle on the raven's four poster bed. "I'm surprised he made it to the Second Task, let alone won the whole tournament."

Kyle sighed. "He made a good boyfriend, but I'm ready to move on."

Kenny and Stan shared an apprehensive look, before pulling Kyle up to look at them. "Listen, Ky, we wanted to tell you-"

"We wanna bone you," Stan blurted out, before going slightly green and vomiting on the crisp white sheets.

"Jesus Marsh, way to play it cool," Kenny muttered as he vanished the sick, Kyle still sitting shell shocked on the bed. The blonde sighed. "Look dude, we've been crushing on you for a while. Seeing you with Krum was really hard, you saw how we acted at the Yule Ball. After Cartman was arrested, Stan and I talked it through. We want a chance to date you properly, but it has to be together. It's either both of us or neither."

Kyle turned to the other Gryffindor, his eyes wide. "Stan? Is that true?"

Stan nodded, trying to keep his stomach in check. "I wanted to pull you out of that asshole's arms and kiss the crap out of you in front of the whole school. I'm cool with sharing you with Kenny, since I kinda dig him too, but no one else."

Kyle sat there for a moment, his face deep in thought. Finally, the redhead broke into a wide grin, launching himself into his friend's arms and kissing him, tring not to let the faint taste of vomit gross him out.

Once the two broke apart, Kyle turned his attentions to Kenny, whom he kissed with just as much enthusiasm.

"I think I'd be willing to give it a go," Kyle giggled, hiding his face shyly in Kenny's shoulder.

The two Gryffindors beamed at one another triumphantly. Though their efforts did not win Stan the Tri-Wizard Cup, it had gained them the love of the brightest wizard of their age, and one another. Dumbledore had once told them that love was an old and powerful magic, and thanks to Kyle Broflovski, they understood.


End file.
